Ugh … made a mistake. Not an “end of the world mistake” (been there, done that) but still a mistake nonetheless that … well … really bugs me. Email, grammatical errors, big audience – not great. So how do I get past it?
For me, as a recovering perfectionist, I’ve made lots of progress on the whole “making mistakes” business. I’m really aware of trying to not throw myself under the bus. Instead, I try to let it go, laugh if I can, tell somebody (you!) and then look for the learnings in order to grow and avoid the same mistake in the future. But it sure is tough, isn't it?
When I posted this admission recently on LinkedIn, the resounding answer was “yes”! Making mistakes is one of those all too human experiences that tests our resiliency. This post also generated some sage insights from folks in my network that has helped me to create this “bounce-back checklist” that I hope you’ll find useful in navigating through a future mistake-making experience.
We’re not alone!
We’re human, making mistakes is normal. Perfection is not. Especially these days it’s important to remember, that we’re in this together!
Cut yourself some slack.
Remember you’d most likely forgive others for making mistakes (and if not, let’s talk about that). So for goodness sakes, go easy on you. To help with that ask yourself “Will I care about this in 10 years?” and if the answer is no, then it really doesn’t deserve more than a couple minutes of worrying right now, does it?
Be humble, face the music and fix what’s in your ability to control.
Own up to it, humbly, sooner rather than later, and then get on with cleaning up the mess (if you can). Procrastinating won’t make it better and will only delay your ability to get past it and move forward. And remember, the fall-out is rarely as bad as you imagine it will be.
We're never so good to outgrow messing up.
When we’re new at something, we’re often more forgiving (as are others) of our mistakes. But as we gain more experience, we can get trapped into setting an unrealistic expectation that we’re are supposed to be right all the time – our expertise, the size of our paycheque, our seniority, our grey hair should mean we’re “beyond” making errors. This mindset will only let us down, because we’re still imperfect humans (back to step 1), and hopefully we’re still learning and growing, even as we gain competence. Which brings me to step 5…
Evidence of growth.
You know this one … every mistake really and truly is a learning opportunity, which, if we choose to see them this way, provides us with the best opportunity possible to grow and get better. Need proof? Think back to a big mistake you’ve made in your career, and then assess how that experienced changed you, or where you’d be in life without having had the benefit of that lesson.
Laughter!
Tell somebody who will help you laugh about it. If not now, then later. It sure helps to release pressure when we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
I hope this helps, and I also know working through mistakes and staying resilient – especially these days – is really hard work that a simple checklist won’t solve. So … if you or people you work with need more help, I’d love to chat with you about the kind of support I’m providing to help professionals feel better. Send me a note to book a call.